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1 litre of tears-Tun teja's version : The Absence
Saturday, 15 October 2011 @ 23:40 | 2 Comment [s]
This supposed to be my assignment.But,its way toooo long.. have to think of a new one.. its just toooo 'dragging'.. *sorry, for any grammatical error that may found. The Absence “She’s dead. Your sister is dead”. Stunned. I couldn’t move my body. My heart beat slowed down. The world sunken to the fact that my sister was dead. I wanted to cry out loud but my promise to her silenced me. I won’t cry. Despite my sadness, I felt relieved that her agony was finally over. Looking back, It’s been 2 years since Isle left us. I can still feel her touch..wiping my tears. I can still hear her voice whispering into my ears those last words that cherished me the most. She was only nineteen when the disease took her life. The disease had slowly taken away her ability to live a normal life since five years back. In her early age, she was a very active and cheerful kid. She grew up as a beautiful teenage girl that was adorable to everyone. There was no sign that she was going to live her teenage life as a disable person. Isle has been mum’s pet since our childhood. She always gets what she wants. Being the daughters in a family of four siblings Isle and I tend to compete with one another to get attentions of family members especially mum’s. I have to admit that she always had the edge over me. She excelled in most of the mission thus hurting me at times. Isle was three years older than me. I looked her up as a big sister which sometime made me felt being bullied by her. Due to these never ending dispute we were not so close. Again I must admit that I was the one who took the distance from her during our ‘ceasefire’. But Isle was not a person who hold any grudges. She took our feud as nothing more than a storm in a cup. She would take my hands and held them both on her cheeks, looked into my eyes and said how much she loved and cared for me. I would then cried and fell into her arms. Isle had a fine personality that portrayed her kind heart which pleased everyone. In school, she was an excellent student both in academics and sports. She always get more attention from our parents, teachers and friends. Before the disease ‘choose’ her, she lives a normal life. enjoying her teenage life. She has a lot of good friends and admirer. Her life was full of happiness. Two months before her 15th birthday, her life started to change. She began to act differently. She always fell down and hardly able to hold herself . She even lose some weight. But that didn’t bother us much. On her birthday, she fell again on her way to school. She was taken to the hospital. My mother began to feel something was not right with Isle. Curious, she asked the doctor to do medical check up on Isle. After a few medical check up the result of Magnetic Resonance Imaging(MRI) answered the question. Isle was diagnosed with Spinocerebellar Degeneration Disease. The cerebellum in her brain shrunk and the nerve cells in it slowly degenerated. It was a major shock to our family and disaster to Isle. Knowing the fact, Isle locked herself up in the room crying the whole day imagining how her life would be. The progress of the disease was slow but it would get worst gradually. The disease was not curable. But, Isle was a very strong girl. After a while she began to regain her composure and live her life as usual. She was not giving up. She knew she must remained strong and determined to fight till her last breath. She had accepted the fact that one day she would fall into a deep sleep and never woke up again. I could see her pain was unbearable but she never let her tears falls in front of us. But I knew behind all that smiles, Isle life was full of fright and tears. She underwent intensive treatment programme at the hospital. Our family routine took a 360 turn. Mum was unable to cope up with the household chores anymore as she had to accompany Isle at the hospital. We all had to review our priorities and daily routines to address the new situation. Isle and I became close to each other. Day by day, her body slowly began to lose the strength to move around freely. I was devastated. I couldn’t stop crying each night thinking of Isle. I prayed to god to give a chance for her to recover and be with us. Isle remained strong and in high spirit each day. The doctors and nurses were thrilled to see her determination to fight on. I wasn’t sure if that was the real Isle. The fact was she wasn’t very much her real self as days gone by. The sparkling eyes and the cheerful smile were not fully there anymore. She had been hospitalised for a couple of week. She told the doctor that she wanted to go back to school. After assessing her daily progress the doctor consented upon her request. “Sometimes I feel like my body doesn't belong to me. What's happening to me?” Isle wrote in her dairy. She realised she had lost certain control on her body. Her handwriting had also deteriorated. Her daily activities had also changed. Isle couldn’t participate in the school activities anymore. She needed the help of her friends around her to proceed with her need. As time passed, Isle became paralyzed. She was unable to do her daily chores. She had to move on the wheelchair. But that wouldn’t stop her from attending class. However… ..to be continue.. (padahal memang sampai situ seja sempat..muahaha) cam sayang nih nda di kasi habis..nanti2 la tem cuti depavalli..ad byk g submition tetunda ni.. credit to:my Yan for editing and guidance. ..thanks for reading.. |
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