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i'm taking a deep breath,letting out my sad sad sad sigh..again..
Monday, 26 December 2011 @ 11:01 | 0 Comment [s]
..last night i found a piece of paper. its my additional math exercise in my form5 . i cant believe that i still have bits of them.( i never like this subject in my school time.. almost none of the science subject neither..but then in my matriculation time, the love blossomed. there i learnt back all the subject and start to love them. even it is too late for me to rose up. but i know its never too late.. yet, i still ended up having a quite suck result in the end..).. i quickly look for my scientific calculator that i can't even remember when was the last time i saw it. with the sense of sadness and bits of memory left, i immediately answer the question. but..Then I realized that I had forgotten on how to settle the question down. I started to realize that I am actually began to forgot the past life of me. omg! it's soo sad... very sad .. I keep on trying .. I looked for every little piece of notes that still there with me .. never thought that the memory these while are getting faded. i love them and i know i'll never have any chances to feel how it was. hmm.. time passes very fast. it has been half a year now. seems like its only a few weeks ago i stayed up late to revise for the final exam. when everything goes this way, I became aware at this time that my love for my pass life are still thicken. what can i do.. its not that i never tried. it's just 'easier said than done' for me to rouse from this frustration .. it took me a long time. may be rather easy in the eyes of others, but only those in this way know better. before, I didn't appreciate even the slightest moment of time I have with all of that at the time. I realized that the loss of everything that happens to me now is the upshot of my negligence at that time. if I appreciate the gifts and opportunities given at the time, use the opportunity for me to show my ability and determination. possibly the situation is better. I may be in pursuit of dreams in the field that I love. think of nothing else but strive to excel..:)..together with other fellow spouses struggling to achieve our dreams .. even though it may fail to achieve what being expect..but, at least its better to die fighting in the things we love than doing thing that we don't, rite? well,..yet..that is life.. we plan..Allah do the rest.. we need to realize not all in life is going to happen the way we want, cuz,, our plans and conditions is not the same with Him at all time.. we plan, Allah decides. no matter how, i need to move on. even with no willing, i think its time to let go.let time decide everything. i believe there will be wisdom that awaits at the end of this journey ..Allah knows what the best for us. though bitter to swallow ..I must continue to move. no matter how hard .. no matter how thorny the wave break my fragile heart, i need to make a step.. let the sorrow fade slowly..hope this hardship, patient and redha will make a better me.. let love and the memories remains embedded in my heart and remains true....soobb..soobb..
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